i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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