i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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