I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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