? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
