I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
cat food counts as protein by the way
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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