he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
