Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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