i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Its about making memories worth repressing
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
