so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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