just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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