Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
