oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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