seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
