Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
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