it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
