You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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