3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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