Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Is it penis luge time yet?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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