doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
