omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
