another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
