covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
