I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
