oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
