my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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