my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
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about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
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He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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