Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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