And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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