love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
