so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
