I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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