Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
