For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
