i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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