She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
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