pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize