Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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