i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
