I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
