3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
