Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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