So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
