Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
