worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm like, not good at living.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
