I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
