Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
