but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
