Your tits are I can't wait for
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
