you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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