He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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