Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So vagazzling was a success
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
