Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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