ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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