three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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