I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize