you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
