I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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