3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
