The maid of honor just puked.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
