So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize