He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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