just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
